Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy bullshit

Is depression a cause for always feeling tired?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why do black people prefer thick, curvy women?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

Panel approves changes to enhance the flow of the game in men’s basketball - NCAA.org

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Who are the IT boys of the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation in K-pop?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have a reading level above third grade

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What have you learned from your parents' mistakes?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Should I believe JD Vance's claim that Tim Walz lied about needing medical intervention to get pregnant?

I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What explanations do flat earthers have for the shape of our planet? If they do not have any, why should their opinions on this topic be considered credible?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What is the most heartbreaking or sad love story that you ever had (experienced)?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What is the worst thing your sibling has done?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is your twin flame story?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What does it mean when someone tells you they love you and want you in their life, but doesn't want to commit?

I actually pay taxes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What are some reasons why men may not want to date a woman who can pay her own bills?

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Is a narcissist capable of understanding the damage and the hurt that they have caused in your relationship?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What can I do to deal with disrespectful children?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane